Ups and Downs

Today is a good day. I heard a guy say on T.V. last night that, "Everyday is a good day. Some are just better than others." So I guess I should say today is one of my better days. I pray that I would keep that attitude about all my days. I am thankful for each one and all the blessings God gives in them. In the midst of my sickness, sometimes disobedient children, and any of the other things life throws my way, sometimes I forgot to have that perspective.

Life is a little bit of a, I guess the right word is, dichotomy. I find myself on each side of the coin. I am absolutely thrilled and excited to be expecting another baby. I feel such peace about my role as a wife and mother. I feel God's hand on our family in amazing ways. But then there is the flip side of the coin. Being pregnant is really tough. I am lot less sick than many people I'm sure, but I do have my times. And every day I battle this sense of lethargy. It takes all I have just to take care of my kids. I do not have a natural talent in keeping house. Cooking, love it! Cleaning, not so much. Before I got pregnant, I was really challenged in the area of self-discipline and carrying that over into my home. I struggled, but saw many victories along the way. I'm feeling total set-back right now. I'm not too hard on myself, because I know this is just a short period in my life. Things will get back to normal. There are moments when I do get overwhelmed though. But overall, like I said, today was one of my "better" good days.

Christmas in October

I decided I wanted to play around a little bit with adding things to my blog, like pictures. Also, thought this was a fun one to post, since it is all of the family and kind of a fun story. My parents came to visit us for a couple weeks during October. We decided it would be fun to celebrate Christmas with them while they were here. It is really hard and expensive to travel in December, so it will be a rare occasion that we will be able to celebrate together at Christmas time. We set up the tree and some of the decorations. The kids had a blast helping. We turned on the Christmas music, and planned a special meal. It was awesome. It felt so nice to share that time of giving to each other, without the commercialism and busyness that seems to permeate the Christmas season. Have to say it helped the budget a little bit to, spreading out the gift-giving. We moved the tree to a back room and went back to enjoying fall, but I wouldn't have traded that special time with my parents and kids for anything.

And Baby Makes Three...

Yes! I am pregnant with our third child. I'm six weeks along and in the throes of all the side effects of pregnancy. We are extremely excited and blessed to be having another baby. We knew it was God's timing for our family. Wow am I exhausted, though. I remember being tired with my last pregnancy. Lilia was only 18 months when Benjamin was born. But the level of exhaustion I feel seems way beyond that. I know we have a lot more things going on now. A growing family brings much more activity. Somehow I feel at peace(most of the time) even though my house is quite the mess, my family is eating much more convenience food, and I generally have a hard time doing much of anything during the day. After a couple go-arounds of pregnancy, I've finally come to realize how quickly this season comes and goes. I truly do look forward to all the milestones and moments that a growing baby inside of me will bring. There is definitely not the same focus like I had with my first baby, but still there is such a specialness to this time. I can't wait to meet this little person who God is forming inside of me and all the plans and purposes He has for this little life.

I guess I better get writing since I know I have readers now. ;)

Well, it has been a while since my last post. Sometimes I struggle with what to share on here. Sometimes I tend to be very philosophical. Then at other times, my posts seem to be about simple, everyday things. Maybe I will find a happy medium in my writing. Or maybe I'll realize that life is full of all ends of the spectrum and it is ok to write about all of it.

My special thought for today has to do with a realization I had during worship at church today. Life around us has been pretty crazy lately with a couple of friends dying way before it seems should have been their time. There's been some major struggles come up with the ministry we work with. Not to mention all the instability in our country in general. Throughout some of this turmoil, the amazing thing I have experienced is the "peace that passes understanding" that God promises us in Philippians. The realization I had today was about where the Lord has brought me. For a long time I struggled with the need to do something significant. To really impact people for the kingdom of God. The problem was that I felt discontent when I didn't see it happening the way I thought it should. He has brought me to a point where I don't have to be anywhere or do anything beyond where He has me right now. I only need to be obedient to Him and His word. I am so thankful for the contentment I've found in this place.

Comfort Food

I have discovered the ultimate in comfort food. It is so easy and gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling when you eat it. The most soothing food I have found so far (besides chocolate), is Pasta with cream cheese melted in it and sauce all mixed together. It is scrumptious. I had it the first time last year when my friend ordered a house casserole from a restaurant. I craved it for a month after that and determined eventually that I could recreate it at home. So there you have it. The ultimate comfort food. (Probably it is fresh on my mind because I just had it for the second time of leftovers of it. It left me feeling just as good as the first time.)

Family

It is amazing how many ways my heart has been stirring about my family. I have been reading an excellent book about parenting called, "Shepherding the Heart of Your Child, " by Tedd Tripp. It has really challenged me in the way I discipline and communicate with my children. Gerrad and I have also been watching a video series called, "Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World." The Bradrick Family put this out through their ministry Family Discipleship Ministries. I am realizing more and more how important it is for me to be home with my children and how they truly are my primary ministry in the short amount of time I will be blessed to raise them. It is sometimes a heavy responsibility, but also one that brings great joy. I am so thankful that God has helped me realize how important my role is in relationship to my husband and children. I can tell you, I have a greater sense of contentment, that my husband even notices. I think it came from finally accepting what God had for me and not thinking it wasn't enough. I'm learning how much enough it is. Almost, to the point of being overwhelming. But with God's help, I think I'm up for the task.

Recipe

Now for a lot less philosophical post. I was so excited to create a recipe last night. When I was grocery shopping last week, I craved this kind of meal and made it up as I went. And it turned out deliciously. That doesn't always happen when I get to creating. Here it is:

Southwest Chicken Pasta

1 lb cooked chicken breast, sliced. (I grilled ours.)
1 can Southwest Pepperjack soup
1/3 cup milk
1/2 cup black beans
Extra cheese, I used provolone because it was on hand (opt.)
1/2 box cooked penne pasta

Combine soup and milk in a pan. Whisk until smooth over medium heat. When bubbling add extra cheese (if you want to cut down spice a little), black beans, and chicken. Mix with cooked pasta and serve.

Fingerpainting

How much joy I get from watching my daughter create! In her stumbling, young ways, she is creating beauty. I thrill in the ways she is growing and learning and becoming more of who God created her to be. It makes me think about how God must view us, His children. My daughter is not old enough or skilled enough to make straight lines or use shading or other techniques of a mature artist, yet in her attempts at what she can do, there is art. If she did not begin with what she can do, she would never grow and develop in her skills. How often do I not do things because I feel a lack of skill or ability. I have a feeling God takes delight in my attempts, because I attempt. And maybe I should take her cue, and without pride, ask for help in the things that I'm not able to do on my own. Like me with my daughter, I think God is more than willing to lend help because I ask.

Wow! Guess I'll give this a try.

I've been really enjoying reading blogs lately, so I thought maybe I would take a try at writing one. I love journaling, but often wish I could share all the many day-to-day happenings and stirrings going on in my life and inside my heart. I'm home a lot during the week raising my two sweet precious toddlers. It gives lots of time to think about God and life and all the things going on around me. I also really enjoy being a mom and am thrilled with the task God has given me with my husband to raise these amazing little people. I've been given the gift of having these welcomed guests in my home for the next couple decades and I'm finding it to be quite the adventure with all its joys and trials. So with this outlet, maybe I can work through some of the things swirling in my heart and mind, and also maybe in some ways, be a blessing to anyone that reads this.